We want our kids to learn to stretch themselves – to try new things. We want them to be flexible – to be able to deal with challenges and setbacks or not getting their way or with bad news. We want them to be able to bounce – be resilient, have coping skills, be able to make a comeback, focus on the positive. We want them to be BRAVE!
People need self-esteem and support to be this way. We have to practice stretching like anything else. You can help your kids stretch by exposing them to many experiences and asking them to take risks. You can also tell them when you feel stretched by something or nervous about something new. Putting ourselves out there and surviving, not even thriving, but simply surviving gives us strength and courage to try again.
Simple steps to encourage stretching:
- Travel! – near or far, by road or plane, for one day or several
- Find ways to meet new people
- Take a class or go to camp alone to learn a new skill or hobby and meet new people
- Get a job or volunteer role where the rest of the family will not be there
- Sleepovers without family
- More important chores at home that show you trust them to handle something new
- Let them talk with people alone, so you are not tempted to answer questions for them
- Small steps towards independence = riding bike or walking to the store alone with money to buy a drink, planning and being in charge of a family event, making decisions and planning the redecorating of their room (and doing a lot of the work!)
When we stretch ourselves, we grow and learn that we will be ok outside of our familiar places and routines. This gives us confidence, the courage to be brave and a sense of personal power.