Goal Setting with the Family

Helping your whole family learn to set goals.

Summer is a great time of year to have a family goal setting session. We all feel like we have little more time to plan and achieve goals plus sometimes we worry our kids are spending too much time relaxing or socializing or trapped in one screen or another.  Let each family member know that tonight at dinner, we will be creating and sharing our lists of goals.  Allow everyone some time to brainstorm by themselves. You can choose to create a list of goals for the family together and also a list for each individual or only focus on individual goals. If we create a family list together, we all feel more connected to the goal and why we want to achieve it. Deciding on family goals and the plans to work on them in and of itself is bonding and educational as we learn about each other and what is important to individuals and the family unit. If we create our individual lists and share them with each other, we feel more motivated to work on the goals because we are now accountable to others and we can ask each family member how it is going and show each other support.

Tips for creating successful goals:

1. Goals should be:

•  clear (I can tell you my goal in 30 seconds or less and you will understand)
• measurable (so you know if you are making progress)
• specific (I want to earn $40 to buy a game vs. I want to earn some money)
• stated positively (don’t use the word don’t)
• include small steps along the way that you can check off (and so it doesn’t feel overwhelming)

2.Along the way:

• monitor your own progress
• visualize success to keep excited
• ask for support and complain if you need to get things off your chest
• ask for help/ideas/mentors/suggestions

Other strong times to have goals setting sessions include at the beginning of the new school year or activity/sport season and before a family vacation.  It helps kids and adults focus on things they have control over, on what they really want to get or achieve, and on planning ahead and thinking about what they want to see and do.  When we share our goals with people important to us and then those people support us to get what we want, it adds such connection because we feel validated and valued. Got to love those feelings!