The Power of Bystanders

When I teach bully proofing to classrooms, I remind kids that most of us are bystanders. On a given day few of us are bullied, few of us are bullying, but many of us are standing by while others are mean-spirited. We bystanders have the power! I ask students, do you want to stand-by while injustice is happening or do you want to be an upstanding citizen? Do you want to look back on your day and feel disappointed that you didn’t speak up for right, or do you want to look back with pride that you had the courage to stand up for others? I even ask them to think of a hero they look up to and ask what would that hero do? If you respect that person or character, is it because they try to do the right thing and make the world a better place?

Ask the young people in your life…and ask yourself…are you being the upstanding person you would be proud to be?

How can we be upstanders?

1. Don’t join in when others are picking on people or laughing at people. If you can’t find words, at least walk away so you aren’t providing back-up to mean behavior.
2. Calmly say “that’s not cool” or “Let’s stop” to the bully. Don’t yell or become a bully yourself.
3. Say something helpful to the person being picked on:”don’t let them bother you” or “that’s not true”. Or invite them to go somewhere else with you to play a game or walk around the playground.
4. Invite the group to take it to the basketball court or soccer field to change the subject.
5. Remember kids, if you try to help the situation but it is out of your comfort zone or you are worried people will get physical, ask adults for help! If the bully calls you names for getting help, they are only trying to keep themselves from getting in trouble!

If we stand up for good, we upstanding citizens have the numbers and thus we have the power. Let’s do this!